WILMA!!!!!!!!

When you call your wife “your better half” do you really mean it? You should!

Love is....Thoughtful!!!

     So many times we can get caught up in the day. Do we ever really stop to think of the one who is our world? I think marriage and family has taken a wrong turn these last few decades. I know to many men who are dedicated to providing for there children but completely forget about there spouse. Too many men have decided that their children take priority in the family and forget that without the spouse the children would not exist. The same goes for the wives too.
     I have spent about a week on this task, I have tried to make a point to call Dawn on several days and just ask how she is doing. I went all out and didn't hold back to get her a relaxing spa package that I know she will love. Which is hard for me because I get caught up thinking about the money, but I forget that she is number one.
     It's time to put love back into the marriage. Love is the building block and the foundation, yes I can put food on the table and shelter overhead but without the essentials of love it means nothing. My wife is my priority not my children, don't get me wrong I love my kids, but I must provide that stable foundation so as to build upon for the future of my children.

Love is....Unselfish!

     I took a small hiatus due to Dawn's surgery. I'm back on track now and Monday was about being unselfish. I have spent the last week or so helping Dawn at home and trying to do the things around the house. I found that her job is pretty stressful and I think it was good to see things from her perspective. I bought her a card on Monday, which I know is pretty lame but I wanted her to know I was thinking of her. Today I called her to check on her and see how she was doing. I hate to hear when she is hurting.....
    
     As spouses we are called to be completely unselfish in every way and submit to our wife's/husband's needs. It's hard to come to grips with that sometimes because it takes sacrificial giving of possessions, love, time, and tons of effort and tongue biting. Being unselfish means to unwillingly and consistently do and give. How is this accomplished as a husband or wife? Why does everything have to be about our happiness? bringing joy to our spouse should provide just as much happiness as any other activity. Are we not dedicated for life? If not, then why did we make that decision? You can change a house, trade in a car, you can change your wardrobe if it no longer suits you, but mates are meant to be for life. Pursuing our spouse should take constant effort, there is no giving up and there is no changing of your mind. At the point that the vows are given that is when we have dedicated ourselves to our spouse through the covenant of marriage & God is our witness. Being unselfish can only be accomplished by fully dedicating ourselves in every aspect of our life. Giving not to receive, but rather giving for the joy of putting forth love and honor to our spouse. Don't give up on the one you love and don't allow yourself to be fooled by "the world," it will tell you that giving without reciprocation is foolish and only for the weak minded. Give not to receive, give unselfishly and give out of love and you will reap the reward.

Day 1 and 1/2....patience

     So I started on Day two, I think it was premature. I was supposed to complete a kind gesture. I spend all day being kind and it wasn't forced upon. I bought Dawn a nice card and left it on her window, but then in Target she snapped at me for telling her to call down. I walked off to avoid the conflict and it got turned on me later. I'm not big on being spoken to in a tone that is aggressive. But I know I have done the same to her, so I must keep the finish line in my sights.

     Patience and kindness are attributes that do not come natural to me, I love my wife and girls so much. But when I get aggravated I tend to let it show which I know is not the reaction I am supposed to have. Being patient with women, when my personality is not catered to that kind of attitude is hard. I want to do this right, so I don't know if i should move forward or not. I will press on though, Dawn has surgery tomorrow so time will tell how this week will end. I am desperate to have the heart that Jesus had, I know it is impossible want I just want God to bless me with grace for everyone around me.

Day one...Love is patient

     I have a short fuse. I let my anger get the best of me emotionally and I find myself getting worked up over simple things all the time. My wife seems to get the real brunt of my emotional discontent. I tend to take things out on her that have nothing to do with her. I know she is not my punching bag and I know that she deserves much better than what I have given.

    Today is October 13, 2012 and technically this is the third day, I refuse to take this dare lightly and so I have yet to check off my first day. The first dare requires you to not say anything negative to your wife all day. I have yet to do that so I must have a full day before I can move on. Today is going well so far, haven't really had a chance to speak with her much. Hopefully I will be able to sum up the strength to treat her with the respect that she deserves. I love my wife dearly and I hate that I find myself letting life's little problems dictate how I will speak to my wife. She is always kind and sweet and I want do right by her and return the same kind of love. The key to today is not just to spend one whole day not saying anything negative it's to start a pattern of not speaking negative to my spouse ever.

     Fights will come but it's how we speak to each other that make a fight a discussion or a brawl. Keeping the "gloves" off and the heart open is how we should react and treat each other....

The Introduction

     I saw the movie, I made the pledge, then I failed.....How do you love your wife the way Christ loved the church? How can I walk in the shoes of the almighty? Well I guess it's going to take work.

     I am going to use the Love Dare book and this blog to chronicle the steps it's going to take to change my life and my marriage. Don't get me wrong we are not failing miserably but when I look in the mirror I don't see the man my wife deserves. So here we go...

http://thelovedarebook.com/